This is sort of how I feel recently.
It’s hard to keep positive when the news are so bad. As a writer, I have my escapes, but a lot of the time, I feel like I’m pretending to be OK. To a certain point, that’s alright. As a kid, I was bullied in school, and it left my confidence in shatters. Nowadays, people think I’m confident, but it’s really just a front I have put on for decades, and at this point, it’s so convincing even I almost believe it.
Maybe it’s the same with this COVID-19 crap. If I pretend that it’s fine, maybe I will convince myself that all will be fine.